Unsung Heroes from Our Childhood: Adam Banks Edition

Who is he?

“Banksy” was around for all three of the Mighty Duck movies. The Ducks only talented player, Banks was plucked from the rival Hawks and he immediately transformed the worst pee-wee hockey team in America into a jugger-naught. Seriously, before Banksy got there the Ducks’ problems were three-fold:

  1. Scoring
  2. Skating
  3. Goaltending

Somehow, Coach Bombay and resident pussy Charlie Conway got all the credit for the turnaround. Continuing on this theme, Banksy’s injury in D2 almost derails the team’s shot at an improbable gold medal run at the Junior Goodwill Games. Banks returns for the final, which the team wins thanks in part to his successful shootout goal. Who got the credit? Bombay and Conway again. Neither played a second of the final.

In the final installment of the franchise, Banks is pulled up to the Varsity squad for the Eden Hall Warriors. Credit the writers on this, it was the most realistic plot-line in any of the movies. Finally someone acknowledged that Banks’ talent was supreme.

Highlights that May Be Set to an Evanescence Song

Sorry, embedding was disabled (Who does that?). Watch them here if you’d like.

Why A Hero?

Consistency

Banks was the only Duck without a gimmick. Russ Tyler had his knuckle-puck, Fulton had the hardest slapshot known to man or beast, and Luis Mendoza was stereotyped into Speedy Gonzalez. This was a world championship level squad though, you guys.

Banks did everything on talent alone. Watch his highlights if you don’t believe me. His moves were so sweet that he even had one goaltender ducking for cover. The Ducks team was nothing without him. In D3, they blew something like a 100-0 lead to some team in blue (too lazy to look that up), which resulted in Charlie turning emo again and quitting. Charlie was the worst. I wish he had quit in tryouts. I HATED Charlie Conway.

The Block

In D3, the Ducks get caught in quite the pickle. In the waning minutes of a scoreless game, with one player already in the penalty box, the Ducks get whistled for a too many men penalty. (A bullshit and inexcusable call, really. The rule allows a substitution when a player retiring from the ice is within 5 feet of the bench, which the “offending” Ducks surely were.)

With the upcoming 5-on-3 looming, Coach Orion sends out Banks, Conway, and Goldberg. I know what you’re thinking. I’m thinking it too. Let’s just get it over with: GOLDBERG?! You want to know why you’re stuck coaching a junior varsity prep school team, Orion? Look no further than the decision to leave Guy Germaine on the bench in this spot. Goldberg sucked, and everyone knew it but you. When goaltender Julie “the Cat” Gaffney gets caught outside the crease and leaves an empty net (not sure what she was doing, perhaps she was still struggling from the gourmet lunch fed to her by Goldberg), Banks saves the game with a lunging block on a puck destined for top cheddar.

Check out the video here at 3:12

Women’s Rights:

In D2, Banks comes to the rescue of Connie after noted womanizer and bash brother Dean Portman calls her “babe”. What a dick, Portman. Although the bash brothers intimidated everyone, Banksy stood up to that “babe” stuff, even with his wimpy frame.

Bonus beef: LOVED that the Mighty Ducks never ran into a problem with having girls on their team. Pee-wees, World Championships, and prep school hockey? No problem. Girls are welcome. Oh, all the other teams didn’t have girls you say? SEXISTS. Nothing at all to do with the rules of competition.

Overall Ability:

Even with his time spent on the Hawks, the Varsity, and on the injured list, Banks led all Ducks with 11 goals* throughout the series. I told you he was the best player. If I have to hear one more time that Conway was the heart of the team, I’ll hurt someone. Conway was the captain when he VOLUNTARILY removed himself from the WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP. He should have been villianized. Instead we gave him Dawson’s Creek.

*When we tallied the goals for the trilogy, we gave one of Banks’ goals an asterisk. At the moment we don’t have a reason for you. You’ll have to watch for yourself. NOTE: The movies are better with beer.

Where is he now?

Adam Banks the character was left up in the air. Decide for yourself where life took him after Russ Tyler’s proclamation that the “Warriors [would] die and the Ducks fly”. Presumably he was drafted out of high school and went on to star for the Minnehaha Waves (that’s Bombay’s minor league team) and then later star in the NHL.

As far as the actor, Banks was played by Vincent Larusso, who took a 10 year acting hiatus after the Ducks trilogy. He returned to the business in 2006 after he had received a degree at Boston University. Classic cake-eater, preppy to the end.

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