Did I Do Basketball? Comparing The Indiana Pacers to Characters from Parks and Recreation

hibbertparks

There’s nothing quite like a Game Seven.

Game Sevens are awesome.  They are win-or-go-home scenarios and with a spot in the NBA Finals on the line, these games are as exciting as it gets.  The Indiana Pacers and Miami Heat will meet tonight for a seventh and final game in the Eastern Conference Finals for a shot at the Spurs.  The series has been as back-and-forth as it gets, with blowouts, buzzer beaters, fights, suspensions and fines.  Meanwhile in lackluster San Antonio, the Spurs are enjoying their plain cheese pizzas and reading the dictionary as they prepare to take on the winners.

Parks and Recreation is an Aggro Swag favorite, and it might be in part due to cameos from athletes like Roy Hibbert, Andrew Luck and Detlef Schrempf.  WHO ELSE DOES THAT?

I noticed a series of possessions during Game 5 where Sam Young proceeded to turn the ball over, dribble off his foot, chest pass into a defender and just do a lot of not good basketball things.  Dan Devine, a great follow on Twitter for basketball fans tweeted out this fine comparison:

Perfect. If you’re a Parks and Rec fan, you’ll agree.  You just want to yell “DAMN IT, JERRY” whenever Young touches the ball.  I got talking with Haggleman about who the other Pacers and their Parks counterparts would be and we came to the conclusion the Pacers and the members of Pawnee are pretty damn similar.  I mean, Pawnee IS in Indiana after all.  Take me there…

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Leslie Knope – Paul George

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Without Leslie Knope, Pawnee would collapse on itself.  Without Paul George, the Pacers offense would consist of Lance Stephenson 40-footers every time down the court.  If George loves waffles and has a obsession with Joe Biden, we might really be onto something here.

Ben Wyatt – Frank Vogel

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Frank Vogel’s decision to bench Roy Hibbert at the end of Game 1 rivals Ben Wyatt’s Ice Town debacle.  After LeBron James’s game-winning layup the newspaper headlines read, “Lame Coach Gets Blame After Game 1 Shame.”

Tom Haverford – George Hill

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Both at the verge of being stars in their own worlds.  Tom had to endure the failure of Entertainment 720 before finding his niche with Rent-a-Swag and George Hill had to play for the boring as heck Spurs before fitting in with the Pacers.  Hill definitely got that shirt from Rent-a-Swag I have no doubt in my mind.

Andy Dwyer – Lance Stephenson

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Hyper, spastic but with a buttload of talent hidden deep inside of them.  That’s Andy and Lance in a nutshell.  Neither have a lick of common sense or basic motor skills but does that stop them?  Lance Stephenson celebrates ever basket like this:

Ann Perkins – D.J Augustin

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This is tough.  Ann Perkins is hot, but she can be annoying at times with her roller coaster of a love life and her constant demands to have a baby.  Augustin is equally as annoying, with his constant demands for us to treat him like a serviceable basketball player.

Ron Swanson – Donnie Walsh

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Donnie Walsh is the President of Basketball Operations for the Pacers.  Ron Swanson is the Director of Parks and Recreation for Pawnee.  Neither job requires any “real” work.  Walsh just makes Paul George do all the hard labor and Ron does the same with Leslie.  That’s where the similarities end because it looks like a steak could kill Donnie Walsh.

April Ludgate – David West

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Have you ever seen David West smile.  Seriously.  Have you?  West and April are the same person.  They look like they hate everything and miss layups at an alarming rate.

Jerry Gergich – Sam Young

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Why do the Pacers constantly allow Sam Young to touch the basketball?  Like Jerry, everything Young touches seems to break into a million pieces.  Young is going to have a fart attack any day now.

Donna Meagle – Ian Mahinmi

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Rarely featured, but when they are, there is a good chance something magical might happen.  Also, both are large and black and frankly that’s the only reason I made this comparison.

Chris Traeger – Boomer the Panther

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Neither are human. Both maintain unnatural levels of happiness and energy at all times.  Literally.

Mark Brendanawicz – Danny Granger

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Brendanawicz and Granger started out as stars of Parks and Rec and the Pacers respectively.  Now?  No one remembers them.  Coincidentally Ann Perkins has dated both.  The Pacers could definitely use Brendanawicz to guard LeBron though.

Perd Hapley – Reggie Miller

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Reggie describes what he sees on the court about the same way Hapley conducts a “Ya Heard! With Perd” segment.  In this comparison, I will compare these two men, who have similar characteristics in order to generate a laugh from you, the reader.

Jean-Ralphio – Craig Sager

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I’m not sure what either of these two guys do for a living.  Yet they’re both snazzy dressers and fluuuuuush with caaaaaaash.

Councilman Jamm – Tyler Hansbrough

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We all want to punch Tyler Hansbrough and Councilman Jamm.  Unfortunately for Hansbrough, like Jamm and Pawnee, he’s part of the Pacers whether we like it or not. 100 bonus points if Hansbrough runs around on the court yelling “YOU’VE BEEN HANS’D!”

Animal Control – Ben Hansbrough & Gerald Green

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If you had told me Hansbrough and Green concocted a work whistle using a dead bird in the locker room during Game 4 I wouldn’t be surprised one bit.

Li’l Sebastian – Larry Bird

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Li’l Sebastian is an icon in Pawnee.  Same goes for Bird in Indiana.  However, neither Bird nor Sebastian are with us anymore (Li’l Sebastian is dead and Larry Bird is doing AT&T commercials).

Eagleton – Miami Heat

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Those snobs think they’re SO much better than us.

Roy Hibbert – Roy Hibbert

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Come on.  This one was a no-brainer.

That’s where we had to draw the line because Duke Silver as Will.I.Am is just too damn specific.

dukewilliam

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