What Up With Sports searches your program guide so you don’t have to. We’ll highlight the best sports on TV for the week, complete with channel and time. You’re welcome.
Everyone always talks about how the time after the NCAA Tournament is the worst for sports fans. On the contrary. You’re just not looking hard enough. This is a huge week. It’s NFL Draft week! What offensive lineman you’ve never heard of will go first?! Furthermore, the NBA Playoffs are in full swing, and rumor has it, baseball season is in progress. To the couch!
Monday
Yankees @ Rays (ESPN, 7 p.m.) – Karl Ravech said on TV this afternoon that this game “could be good.” I don’t know why someone wouldn’t watch after hearing that ringing endorsement.
Bulls @ Nets – Game 2 (TNT, 8 p.m.) – I hope Jay-Z is there talking s*** to Joakim Noah. I really hope Beyoncé is there doing anything. Anything at all.
Sport Science 2013 Draft (ESPN 9 p.m.) – This NFL Draft edition of Sports Science “finally answers sports questions…normally reserved for barstool conjectures.” Because when I’m throwing back Bud Light Lime-a-Ritas, I’m ALWAYS ready to debate science with you p*ssies.
Grizzlies @ Clippers – Game 2 (TNT, 10:30 p.m.) – I’m too tired to watch this one, but let me know how it ends, will ya?
Tuesday
30 For 30: Elway To Marino (ESPN 8 p.m.) – ESPN’s latest documentary looks at the 1983 NFL Draft where six quarterbacks were selected in the first round. Why is there not a documentary about the New York Jets’ failures in the draft? I’d watch that.
[youtube http://youtu.be/rZxNeFLuY98]Celtics @ Knicks – Game 2 (TNT, 8 p.m.) – J.R. Smith won the NBA’s 6th Man of the Year award, so he’s going to be REALLY hungover for this game. He might wind up in Mexico when his celebration is all said and done.
Warriors @ Nuggets – Game 2 (TNT, 10:30 p.m.) – Steph Curry goes for 60 or first round of beers on me, you guys.
Wednesday
Dodgers @ Mets (ESPN, 7 p.m.) – REAL TALK: I went to the Mets-Nationals game last Friday with Haggleman Mondays. We were excited to watch phenom pitcher Matt Harvey shut down Bryce Harper’s bad haircut and see the Mets blast 4 dingers in the process. The entire Gift Shop out of Harvey terseys though. Step your game up, Citi Field.
SportsNation Madden Cover Vote Reveal (ESPN2, 8 p.m.) – Why.
Lakers @ Spurs – Game 2 (TNT, 9:30 p.m.) – I will not watch this game.
Thursday
Heat @ Bucks – Game 3 (TNT, 7 p.m.) – If you need to watch some off-the-backboard dunks before the NFL Draft starts, I GUESS you could do worse than this game.
*GAME OF THE WEEK* 2013 NFL Draft – First Round (ESPN/NFLN, 8 p.m.) – It’s not a game, but it’s a must-watch. This year’s NFL Draft doesn’t have the starpower that RGIII and Luck had last year, but the storylines are just as good. Will the Bills just be Syracuse-only and draft Ryan Nassib? Can the Jets possibly screw up two first-round picks? Yes, to both.
Friday
2013 NFL Draft – 2nd & 3rd Rounds (ESPN/NFLN, 6:30 p.m.) – You’ll watch.
Knicks @ Celtics – Game 3 (ESPN, 8 p.m.) – The first game in Boston for the Celtics since the Boston Marathon bombings. The Knicks don’t stand a chance against that emotion.
Nuggets @ Warriors – Game 3 (ESPN2, 10:30 p.m.) – It’ll be on at the bar.
Saturday
2013 NFL Draft – Rounds 4-7 (ESPN/NFL Network, Noon) – Do you think Mel Kiper, Jr. and Todd McShay hang out outside of work? Or do they have a Ron Burgundy/Wes Mantooth type of relationship? I’m going with the latter.
Braves @ Tigers/Reds @ Nationals/Phillies @ Mets (FOX 1 p.m.) – That lawn isn’t going to mow itself.
Devils @ Rangers (NBC, 3 p.m.) – It’s on NBC so I’m assuming it’s good? [remembers that NBC aired 1600 Penn] Nevermind.
X Games (ABC, 4 p.m.) – Haha, nope.
NASCAR Sprint Cup – Toyota Owners 400 (FOX, 8 p.m.) – Call me when the Dodge Neon Owners 250 is on.
UFC 159: Jones vs. Sonnen (PPV, 10 p.m.) – I have no idea who this Sonnen character is but I do know Sonnen is 28-12-1, 3 inches shorter, and weighs the same as Jon “Bones” Jones. How’d he get this fight? Bones is going to punch his face right off.
Sunday
Knicks @ Celtics – Game 4 (ABC, 1 p.m.) – Paul Pierce will never go away, will he?
Heat @ Bucks – Game 4 (ABC, 3:30 p.m.) – The Heat are going to wrap up the series and LeBron will wear a sweater made of Big Mac wrappers. Take that to the bank.
Spurs @ Lakers – Game 4 (TNT, 7 p.m.) – Kobe Bryant was criticized for live-tweeting the Lakers-Spurs game on Sunday. I would pay a hefty subscription fee for half of the Knicks roster to tweet on the bench.
Braves @ Tigers (ESPN 8 p.m.) – How can you not like this Atlanta Braves team? The Upton Brothers are killing it right now, and the Upton Sister is doing alright for herself too #pageviews.
Aggro Swag 