Three Man Weave is a regular feature on Aggro Swag. Here, Haggleman, Jeezy, and LCP will discuss, well, anything. You’ll probably see a lot of sports, specifically Syracuse basketball, but nothing is off limits here. Except dancing to Pitbull. And Flo-rida too. Today, we have a special report card for Syracuse’s most recent game, a 61-39 (!) loss to Georgetown.
No, that picture wasn’t taken right after Otto Porter shot Brandon Triche’s dog, but it sure seems like it. Rather, it was taken right after Syracuse played its worst game of basketball, ever. They scored 39 points in 40 minutes, and no, they weren’t playing by 1s and 2s. The Orange’s offensive performance rivaled a high school girls basketball game, and that’s probably a slight to high school girls. In the FINAL Big East regular season game for Syracuse, they laid a Thompson-sized egg in Georgetown’s house. It was embarrassing to watch. The Hoyas took Syracuse to school, took their lunch, and gave each and every Orangeman an atomic wedgie for good measure. What better way to get pumped up for tournament time?!
Haggleman Mondays: Ugh. I have to do a whole report card on this game? I don’t even want to. Instead I’ll just fill my part with quotes from Major League 2 that I deem appropriate for each player.
Jeezy Sanchez: B+. Outside of his typical head scratching and momentum killing turnovers, MCW nearly scored half of Syracuse’s points. In the worst game I’ve ever watched, he was least worst.
LCP: A-. 17 points on 8-of-13 shooting for MCW was one of the lone bright spots in what was an absolute dumpster fire from the Syracuse offense.
HM: B. “My momma always said, ‘it’s better to eat sh-t than to not eat at all.'”
JS: A. Rakeem’s start to the game was a glimmer of what we thought his season might look like. Amazing things can happen when Syracuse enters the post (See: I Believe I Can Baye).
LCP: B. I couldn’t believe I saw him make both a post move and a mid-range jumper in one game. Myself and Haggleman urged he get more touches, but when he saw the ball he inexcusably traveled and really never recovered (My Reaction)
HM: F. “You’re all garbage, all of ya! Back up the truck, back it up!”
JS: Incomplete. Should have milked that knee injury to avoid these public humiliations.
LCP: Pass. I wish I could just change his name to disappointing.
HM: F. “You’re standing on the tracks when the train’s coming through.”
JS: F. Trevor has to make a shot, any shot, to be worth a damn. I don’t want him leaving the Melo Center until November.
LCP: D. He looks really out of place out there and not because he’s the only white player on the court most of the time.
HM: B. “I’m the only winner on this team. The rest of ’em, they’re losers. Either by choice, or by birth.”
JS: C. Let’s just pretend CJ was quadruple teamed and move on, shall we?
LCP: C. A rare bad game from CJ. It seemed like Georgetown knew what was coming on offense, which I guess isn’t very hard considering we might have two offensive plays.
HM: D. “They’re going to send me back to Omaha and I don’t even live there!”
JS: 2013-2014. That’s where your focus needs to be, kid.
LCP: C+. I’m not sure if his play during James’ absence was a mirage or the real deal. He clearly has physical tools to be a big time contributor down the road, it’s just a matter of minutes and confidence.
HM: F. “[His] play could be a finalist in the Trojan-Enz Boner of the Week Award.”
JS: F. [drops report card, slips on a banana peel, sets hair on fire, falls off a cliff] In other words, a typical offensive possession from Baye.
LCP: F. Nevermind his offense (Baye scoring is an added bonus), but zero defense rebounds in 10 minutes from the center spot is laughable. Call it a hunch, but I don’t think Baye would be a very good partner in egg toss.
HM: F. “He’s 0 for… I don’t know. Who cares?”
JS: F. Remember that Arkansas game? That was a looooooong time ago /cries
LCP: Brick. Sometimes it looks like he could play in the NBA, other times it looks like he couldn’t crack the lineup on ‘Hang Time’
HM: F. “Every one of you are poop. Bring out the pooper scooper!”
JS: F-. I’m convinced that Brandon Triche is living out this scene from Space Jam every single day.
LCP: :(. I can’t remember a worse shooting slump. His confidence is at an all-time low and he continues to wear uglier shoes each game. This is madness.
HM: F. “Oh, Skip, they were a different team last year.”
JS: F. We need Danny O’Shea’s Little Giants speech now more than ever.
LCP: Oh Bother. Not a lot he can do when your two ‘seniors’ shoot a combined 1-of-17. He’s clearly ready to play golf and so am I.
(All photos via Syracuse.com)