Exit Sandman: The End of Mariano Rivera

If you hopped onto Facebook and Twitter last night around 9 p.m., you would have thought Mariano Rivera was dead. If I didn’t know any better, I would have guessed this had happened to him:

Thankfully that didn’t happen, mostly because I didn’t have a good “too soon” joke ready. Instead, Rivera, the all-time saves leader and Yankees legend, had the most DERP’D ending to a hall of fame career. He tore his ACL shagging fly balls during batting practice in Kansas City. The fact that it was in KC and not the Bronx makes this whole thing that much funnier. I sorely wanted to break down the video of the incident, but thanks to Major League Baseball hating the internet and fun in general, these screen caps and GIF’s will have to do.

That was not a great first impression, Jayson Nix. As Haggleman pointed out to me earlier, why is no one blaming Nix for not being able to hit that batting practice fastball out of the park? Weak sauce, Jayson. Is there any doubt that Nix is going to get booed the first game back at Yankee Stadium? That is, if he makes it there alive.

Here is the now infamous injury. This never would have happened if he just laid out for the ball. As a guy who has had just as lame knee injuries while playing sports, I shouldn’t make light of the situation. Then again, I don’t care. Why is the YES Network filming batting practice outfielders anyways? That cameraman must HATE his job. Working with Michael Kay is bad enough.

2 things: First, that Budweiser advertisement could not be more appropriate. Mariano won’t be doing much walking after this! [rimshot] Secondly, did that fan really think he would snag a ball holding his glove like that? You’re better than that, dude.

I think he’s really hurt you guys.

A-Rod’s reaction is just the best. “OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!”

He then looks over to someone, says what I can only imagine is a full diagnosis of the injury, and then makes this “Yep, he’s dead and I knew it first” face. Dr. Rodriguez is accepting new patients.

Don’t worry though, Joe Girardi will save the day! He breaks into an awkward jog/sprint as if Uncle Joey is going to make everything better. He’ll probably just suggest that Mo get braces.

On his way out to Rivera, Girardi is joined by Floppy McGee, the trainer for the Yankees, I guess. I don’t know, but if you ask me, running with your hands in your pockets might slow you down.

Mariano Rivera just realized he’s done-zo. RIP man.

Why is Girardi leading the charge on tending to Rivera? Don’t they have doctors and trainers to do that? I’d trust Girardi to handle injuries like I’d trust Bobby Valentine to handle creating a lineup card.

Now I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t how you carry someone with a torn ACL.

Throughout ALL of this injury nonsense, the Yankees CONTINUED with batting practice! Every thirty seconds, everyone would stop what they were doing and freak out. YOU’RE CLOSER IS NO MORE, STOP FOR FIVE MINUTES! You’re only playing the Royals, anyways.

As Mo is being loader into the Gator, we get this fantastic reaction shot of a fly ball heading their way. The best reactions are from the security guard on the top left, the “who cares” guy in the blue polo on the left, the guy with the glasses in the middle who may be in the process of wetting his pants, and then Mariano, who couldn’t want to leave faster.